Water into Wine; POEM .

I haven't felt this bored in a while. I don't feel like doing anything. I'm pooped and I really didn't even do anything today. I just feel really resigned. Maybe being in a single isn't a good idea. It's nice to have my freedom, but I will do anything and everything when I am alone but I check myself when I have a roomate; or maybe I will have to learn to be by myself, which is the point I suppose. Yeah, I think I have a harder time than most. Once I start getting annoyed, I can't be stopped. I just let it, or it just happens to snowball me. I finished my book, so I feel empty in that department. My roomie is gone, so I feel unsociable. ugh, I just wanna be like Salander . LOL . Well, the fact that she was so to herself most of the times. I could use that, it would make my alone times more useful.
 Well maybe I should allude to the real reason I am upset. LOL .

Used,
the exception you believed you are
was just a ruse
backflips and sumersaults
through hoops
and he KNOWS
you will
your not putty or weak
but the circular hoops become
purplediamondshapesfleckedwithgold
bloodredhexagons
Too busy checking if ringmasta' was pleased
to notice the trap
as the mouse eyes the cheese

it's like being ran over by a jeep and then hit by a tree
I suppose this is payback
but I think I've paid enough
my heart splutters to the radio beat

When you realize your empire of dreams
discovered and built by
who knows whom
have become bitter fantasies

It is the state of paradoxical confusion.
Was this all an allusion?

Believed to be the calm outside the storm, but the storm had decided to take you on

No fault but yours, I suppose
Shruging to explain
the pain
the easiest without words
or a story to be heard
and learned

The male desires
The female understands
His pleasures are not a chore
Not like the rest, you must always enjoy
Her wants are easily met
She has none to begin with
Her needs are to keep him
before his interest wanes
like turning sour to sweet.
wine to water
bread to yeast
West to East

I let you call the shots, just by caressing my hand
Rough as pine needles and beach sand
But I endured, I wanted someone to understand

My golden dream had morphed into a nightmare.
I would fall asleep wishing for that dream and somehow end up
goodness knows where.

I'd go through the nightmare for you, baby...
but not anymore .